Roger Ebert's Most Hated Rom-Com: The Film That Broke His Watch
The legendary film critic rarely walked out of theaters, but one 1989 romantic comedy was so unbearable it made him question time itself. His brutal half-star review became legendary.
Most moviegoers have experienced that sinking feeling when they realize they're stuck watching a terrible film. For professional critics like Roger Ebert, walking out wasn't an option – his job required him to endure even the most painful cinematic experiences. But Bruce Beresford's 1989 romantic comedy pushed the legendary reviewer to his absolute breaking point.
When Time Stands Still
Ebert's opening line in his review perfectly captured his torment: "You know a movie is in trouble when you start looking at your watch. You know it's in bad trouble when you start shaking your watch because you think it might have stopped. Her Alibi is a movie in the second category; endless, pointless, and ridiculous, right up to the final shot."
The critic didn't hold back, describing the production as "desperately bankrupt of imagination and wit." At just 94 minutes, the film somehow felt like an eternity to sit through, earning a devastating 0.5-star rating from one of America's most respected film reviewers.
A Plot That Defied Logic
Tom Selleck starred as Philip Blackwood, a mystery novelist battling writer's block who decides to attend a murder trial for inspiration. He becomes convinced that the defendant, played by model Paulina Porizkova, is actually innocent and allows her to stay at his home – somehow attracting the attention of the KGB in the process.
Ebert wasn't impressed with the storyline's logic. "If the plot of his novel is half-witted, the plot of the movie is lame-brained," he wrote. "The movie betrays its desperation by straying outside the confines of even this cookie-cutter plot for such irrelevant episodes." One particularly memorable scene involved Selleck accidentally shooting himself in the rear end with an arrow.
Commercial and Critical Disaster
The film barely managed to recover its production costs at the box office and received widespread negative reviews from critics nationwide. Porizkova's performance earned her a Razzie nomination for Worst Actress, adding insult to injury for the already troubled production.
Ebert described the entire experience as "filled with groaningly bad moments" and called the whole thing "arbitrary and senseless." Interestingly, Beresford would redeem himself later that same year with "Driving Miss Daisy," which won multiple Academy Awards including Best Picture, though that film has since faced its own critical reevaluation.